As I was saying...

Hello. I've missed you.

How have you been? Well, I hope. What have you been doing? Refreshing my blog, you say? Anticipating the next update feverishly? Forgoing food or even liquid sustenance in the dim hope that some god, who you believe may be very angry with you, will take your fasting as sacrifice and finally let loose the torrent of updates that you've been standing, open mouthed and facing the sky, waiting for?

Excellent!

And myself? Well, now that you've asked...

I've been having the last two weeks of my life happen to me. In fact, they're not even over yet, so it's good that you caught me. I was just about to start the next two weeks of my life, actually, which would have just been rubbish timing on my part. Seeing as I've got a moment or two, though, while the last two weeks of my life are packing their things away and getting ready to make room for the next two weeks, we might as well catch up!

Hmm, well, first it's important to paint the background of the last two weeks. The Saturday before last, I responded to a job listing on expats.cz for a bookstore clerk at The Globe, of course. From there, things accelerated beyond my predictions, so that on Monday I was treated to orientation, on Tuesday I was training and Thursday I was working. Thursday's the day that's most important right now, because I worked until 1:00 a.m. while still needing to be at my pre-school job at 8:00 a.m. You see the problem, of course.

Well also guess what on top of that is that the Wednesday of the week we're talking about, which would be the 11th, my good friend and erstwhile ward Matt was scheduled to fly home via aeroplane. Without going into painful details, his flight left without him (without even a backward glance, the hussy) and so he was forced to stay for an extra week. His indefatiguable mother secured him another ticket for exactly a week hence for just $100 more out of pocket, so we got a chance to try again.

So -- I expected to see Matt off on Wednesday, then go home, go to bed, wake up at 6:30 a.m., go to work at 8:00 a.m., get off work at 1:00 p.m., get home at 1:40 p.m., sleep until 4:00p.m., go to other work at 4:30 p.m., get off other work at 1:00 a.m., get home at 1:40 a.m., sleep until 6:30 a.m., go to work at 8:00 a.m., get off work at 1:00 p.m., (find and) meet a British woman and a Slovakian woman at 2 p.m. to interview for a new pre-school job, then (find and) meet a Czech woman at 5 p.m. to interview for another new pre-school job, go home and then go to sleep. Instead, I didn't see Matt off, but I did do the rest of it, except it was worse. Instead of getting off work at 1:00 a.m. from The Globe, I got off work at nearly 2:00 a.m., and the night trams take fooooorever so I didn't get home and get to sleep until around 3:30 a.m. by which time I was so tired I wasn't sleepy, so I had problems. I only got three hours of sleep, which I had to make last through a full morning with kids plus two interviews. Huff.

So then I slept almost all of Saturday (the 13th [I was actually supposed to work from 4:00 p.m. until 1:00 a.m. on Saturday (the 13th) as well but I ignored my cell phone's ringing all that day in favor of sleeping to protect my innocence]) and also Sunday (the 14th), then woke up at 6:30 a.m. Monday (the 15th), went to work at 8:00 a.m., got off work at 1:00 p.m., went home, overslept on a nap, got to my other work late, got off at a better time (closer to 1:00 a.m.), got home, went to sleep at 2:30 a.m., woke up at 6:30 a.m., got to work at 8:00 a.m. on the day of our Christmas Play! and then had to stay at work doing the play (which I will upload the 2gb HD video recording I took of soon [I hope]) and cleaning up after the play and receiving gifts from kisd and saying how good they did until close to 5:00 p.m. Of course I was tired, of course of course. But also it was the last day that my school supervisor Marketa and her husband Ryan (who has a shaved head and tattoos and wide white pierced ears and a frosted white tint to his skin that looks almost medicinal) were at school before leaving for their big Christmas vacation so I finally talked to Marketa about my quitting the school:

Her: [emerging from busy small room into less busy big room] Oh hey, Alex yeah I wanted to talk to you.
Me: Oh hey, Marketa Ani-- ok yeah you want to talk?
Her: I wanted to tell you that it will be in a month when we get paid before you get paid because that's when we get the money.
Me: Ok that's fine, I'll still be in Prague.
Her: Next time though maybe you shouldn't write an email if you are wanting to quit a job?
Me: Oh yeah I know, I'm -- I guess -- I mean it probably comes across as a little impersonal yeah?
Her: Yeah it's just you know a little impersonal --
Me: I know I didn't mean for it to be so you know impersonal and even I meant to tell you on Friday when you weren't here so --
Her: Well you probably figured out this job wasn't right for you yeah? I will send you a message when I get back.
Me: [big smile] Ok! Yeah that's fine, I'll still be in Prague [big smile and walking away]

So then I got home from that conversation and worked the next day at the school, where I had to answer questions from people about why I was quitting, and then I took Matt to the airport and we sat in the big hallway after you first walk in the sliding glass doors eating really expensive McDonald's food (the McDonald's' here are incredibly well furnished and strike me as being designed by someone Swedish or at least with a Sweidish eye for fast food furniture design) and then we sat near the check-in island for a while and Matt -- in the brief time it took me to find a bathroom and pee in it -- made friends with another girl flying to Dublin at the same time named Jess Biron but I didn't find our conversation to be very enjoyable. Then I said bye to Matt after a while and I took pictures and video but haven't had the time to upload them to the Internet but when I do I will post them here for his friends and family and mine to see.

Then I came home and went to sleep and then Thursday I had to go to work again at both jobs so I went to the pre-school at 8:00 a.m. and then to The Globe at 4:15 p.m. and worked until very late as usual, about 1:10 a.m. and then I went home and went to sleep and then I went to my last day at my pre-school, where I took a great several pictures of me with every kid that was there that day (Friday [the 19th]) and then Otto's mom came and picked up Otto but I had been playing very rough and having a lot of fun with him that day so he didn't want to leave. Even when his mom and I were chatting and she hefted him up to our height, he reached for and grabbed my thumb and clamped it without letting go and said in Czech ''I want to go to Alex!'' which I think is awesome, but it made his older brother who comes with their mom to pick up Otto jealous, said his mom, who also told me that they had left me a present on my shoes out in the changing room (which is not that surprising given that lots of the kids[' parents] got gifts for the teachers, incl. chocolates of various calibers and a candle shaped like a small star and a candle shaped like a huge twist) and that she wanted me to give them updates at the email address accompanying the present (which turned out to be Lindt chocolate truffled and a bottle of wine [not yet drunk -- saving it for the new apartment warming] and a bracelet provided for by Otto's older brother Henek who likes me a lot too apparently) and that she wanted me to know that if I ever had any trouble in the city to just contact her and she and her husband would try to help me out as best they could, going to far as to make available to me a room in their house that her husband wants to use as an office but which she said would be no problem turning into a bedroom if I needed it. So I haven't emailed her yet but I will soon and I feel so flattered and don't know how best to phrase my (deep, deep) appreciation of her generosity without sounding goofy? or repugnantly innocent? Hummm.

I love Otto so much.

So then after (my last day of) work Friday I went to Megan's pre-school (which is called ABC Academcy which I think stands for ''A Better Czech [Didactic Experience?]'' because it's so much nicer and cooler than my school) because Friday, which was also her last day of work before the Christmas break, is also the day of her kids' winter play which was a rendition of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I wasn't able to watch it, because I was upstairs the entire time.

Guess why?

I was upstairs the entire time, dressed up.

Dressed up as what?

I was upstairs the entire time, dressed up as SANTA CLAUS. Yup!

Because! After the play was over, I stomped down the stairs and surprised the kids and gave out toys and big hearty bellylaughs and it was fantastic and I got paid the Monopoly money equivalent of $75. Merry Christmas to me!

Then after I got back from the play with Megan we were both very tired so we took a nap until my phone woke me up with a text message from my friend Kate Pinto reminding me that we were going to see DEERHOOF TONIGHT!!!! (Friday not now)

So I went with Kate and we got into the show free courtesy of Provokator and it was in this really interesting venue called the MeetFactory which I believe is owned or was founded by David Černý, which is super excellent. The venue was a giant old factory warehouse with big painted monochrome car bodies hanging vertically pointed down on the exterior and from the ceiling of the interior. The acoustics are horrible because it's a huge echo-ey square room but the band was of course excellent despite all mitigating factors.

Deerhoof are really really one of the best bands that make music right now. A year or two ago I interviewed Greg Saunier, their founder and drummer, for WXYC, where the interview was recorded and aired, but also for 'Sup Magazine, where the print version ran. It was a really engaging experience, talking to him, and I felt like he enjoyed my conversation as well. When I saw him at the venue later (the interview was telephoned) we chatted more. Then, a few days later, they played in Winston-Salem (if you can believe that) and I approached him again and we chatted more, this time with me giving him a free copy of 'Sup and him giving me a free book recommendation -- The Mezzanine, by Nicholson Baker. The book has since become one of my favorites, and I recommend everyone pick it up and read it. It won't take you more than two days, and it's sure to surprise you over and over with its wondrous, almost miraculous attention to detail. Really, please do read it.

So anyway that was in 2007, early, Spring? and now it's Winter 2008, but Greg remembered me when I approached him, which was a pleasing thrill. He's so cool. He's so tall. His hair is so long now, and curly, and his wife is SO SHORT AND JAPANESE. When she performs, she reminds me of Sara a lot, in the face. I took 20 minutes (and 4gb) of video which I will upload and link to. The show was fantastic.

After the show, Kate and I managed to find Greg and get him to come with us up to an empty and very Soviet room where we interviewed him. Largely just a casual conversation, we also talked about the issue of waste, which is the main theme of the next Provokator. I tried not to spill out my entire fanboy guts to him, but it was hard. Deerhoof are so good. You'll see when you watch the videos.

(Side note: Greg is a lot weirder this time around. He had, in addition to a much curlier shag, some sort of red splotches around his mouth and a tendency to smell his fingers very quickly mid-sentence. I think he was on drugs or just stressed out because it was the end of their tour. It was the first time in Prague, ever, so that might explain it too.)


So that was this past Friday, and then yesterday was Saturday and I worked from 9:00 a.m. until 3 p.m. at The Globe; I was scheduled to work until 4 p.m. but I got off an hour early from a sore throat.

Today, Megan and I went to our nwe apartment and dropped off some clothes, signed a lease and gave our new flatmate Jana the deposite for the room -- 10,000 CZK in all. We also played with the satellite TV. You can switch between languages, here, depending on the channel. It's fascinating. Our room has so much room, hah. Balcony, big window, clean bathroom. It's perfect. I sigh of pleasure when I think about it.

I had to come into work, here, where I am, at 4:30 p.m., but Megan and I were starving so we started walking down the sidewalk in front of our new apartment thinking of places to eat. We got about 20 feet when Megan stopped me and said, hey, why don't we eat in here? We were stopped in front of a place called Pivovarsky Klub which I can best describe with a punctuation mark: !


This place is AMAZING. It's like stepping into Carrboro, beer-wise. There's suddenly arrayed before you three full walls of bottled beer from around the Czech Republic and world. There are three coolers with more bottles. There are six beers on tap. And it's all so good. It's the first place I've been to since I came to Prague where I've found Newcastle, Samichlaus (strongest lager in the world), Chimay, Trappist, Scaldis (Megan's favorite beer of all time) and oh so many more. It's the beer nerd's haven in Prague, I've decided. I had been looking for it since I got here, I just didn't realize it entirely. Or, I had given up on looking consciously. And it's literally a ten second walk from my front door. Unbelievable.

I ate food there as well, delicious food: fried, breaded broccoli with potato wedges reminiscent of the USA's best french fries. That was at about 3:30 p.m., and it's 9:36 p.m. right now, and I still feel uncomfortably full.

Which is kind of how the last two weeks have left me. With Christmas break upon me, you'd think I'd want to just relax and read (I'm reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, finally, after having finished The Savage Detectives a few days ago [both are excellent!]), but I'm not. I found a guy who is driving to Paris on the 28th of December, so Megan and I are catching a ride with him and a friend of his, which should be fun. I'm going to see Paris for the first time! Hah! My dad tells me it's very expensive, so I plan not to eat while there. Arc de Tri-oomphe!

They're playing A Beautiful Mind right now in the cafe portion of the store, but I've never seen or cared about seeing it, so I'm not paying attention. They were going to play -- started playing, even -- Blue Velvet, but it was a copy purchased by the owner of the store, who lives in Moscow, so it was a cheap DVD that turned out to be exclusively in Polish, so they switched. All the English-speaking hipsters in Prague came out of their studios to bask in the Lynchian waves, only to be forced to stare at Russel Crowe's mug for the next two hours. Hah! Some of them opted to come up to the bookstore area, so I've been listening without paying attention to the conversation between a curly haired girl and a black dude with a mohawk and this totally avant-garde scarf. I'd be jealous, if I had any fashion sense.

Also, Album of the Year 2008 -- Third by Portishead!

That's it.